The Neat Box
The last couple of years have brought a lot of change. In March 2014 we moved to a new home. In May 2014 our family said goodbye to our foster son. We grew to love this little boy but he was only our "for a while son." Even so, we still wanted to grow our family through adoption. So, in Fall 2014 the decision was made to open up our home again to a foster child. By Christmas of 2014 we had a little sweet boy join the family. Our hearts were full and excited for the year ahead. Enter January 2015 and a phone call brings the joy of yet another new foster child. That same month my husband was offered a new job. So there I was still healing from saying our goodbyes to our first foster son, in a new home, two new babies and my husband in a new job. I should have been so full of joy and excitement in this new journey but instead I started to create what I call my 'neat box."
There had been so much change in our family and lives within just 8 months...some hard change but lots of good change too. I've heard the adjustment period for each of these major events (saying goodbye to a child, buying a new home, new baby and new job) takes months! Well, we did all 4 in just eight months! So I needed a "neat box" to place everything in and this is a little picture of what it looked like:
Really the neat box came down to control (and some depression too...we'll save that for a later post) I wanted to make sure I had control of our current situation (a new born and a lack of sleep contributed to this as well). I didn't want things to get broken or messy (spiritually, emotionally, physically...you name it). So I controlled things by reducing our activities, leaving the house less and keeping bedroom doors closed to reduce the mess. Lastly, I raised expectations for myself and others in my home because I didn't want things left undone. For a time, this neat box totally worked for me! It served its purpose for a while as we adjusted to all the change. However, it soon began to contribute to my worry, decrease my confidence in parenting and eliminated grace. I had trapped myself in this neat box and I wasn't happy.
Here we are at the beginning of 2017 and I'm still working my way out of this neat box. I'm reaching out more to friends and family, lowering my heightened expectations, getting creative with the kids and sometimes opening those bedroom doors (toy rotation ideas here). So, as we enter this new year I will embrace mess more often, be confident in my parenting skills, and trust that I don't need a neat box to help me with change. All I need is to trust The One that orchestrates that change.
Do you have a "neat box?" Maybe your neat box is striving for the perfect career, difficulty letting a child grow up, worrying about what others think, or trying to keep others happy. What ever your neat box is, may you be able to give your neat box to Jesus. Yes, things might get a little messy or even broken. However, its through the messy and broken that healing and growth happens the most. May you accept His healing, allow him to grow you, and open your arms to His grace.
There had been so much change in our family and lives within just 8 months...some hard change but lots of good change too. I've heard the adjustment period for each of these major events (saying goodbye to a child, buying a new home, new baby and new job) takes months! Well, we did all 4 in just eight months! So I needed a "neat box" to place everything in and this is a little picture of what it looked like:
Really the neat box came down to control (and some depression too...we'll save that for a later post) I wanted to make sure I had control of our current situation (a new born and a lack of sleep contributed to this as well). I didn't want things to get broken or messy (spiritually, emotionally, physically...you name it). So I controlled things by reducing our activities, leaving the house less and keeping bedroom doors closed to reduce the mess. Lastly, I raised expectations for myself and others in my home because I didn't want things left undone. For a time, this neat box totally worked for me! It served its purpose for a while as we adjusted to all the change. However, it soon began to contribute to my worry, decrease my confidence in parenting and eliminated grace. I had trapped myself in this neat box and I wasn't happy.
Here we are at the beginning of 2017 and I'm still working my way out of this neat box. I'm reaching out more to friends and family, lowering my heightened expectations, getting creative with the kids and sometimes opening those bedroom doors (toy rotation ideas here). So, as we enter this new year I will embrace mess more often, be confident in my parenting skills, and trust that I don't need a neat box to help me with change. All I need is to trust The One that orchestrates that change.
Do you have a "neat box?" Maybe your neat box is striving for the perfect career, difficulty letting a child grow up, worrying about what others think, or trying to keep others happy. What ever your neat box is, may you be able to give your neat box to Jesus. Yes, things might get a little messy or even broken. However, its through the messy and broken that healing and growth happens the most. May you accept His healing, allow him to grow you, and open your arms to His grace.
I have a lot of neat boxes :(
ReplyDeleteI struggle every moment and I need to be reminded all the time to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.
We are human and wanting to keep certain parts of our lives neat and tidy is normal! There is a difficult balance of holding onto that responsibility while also giving it to Jesus. Sometimes necessary daily for me!!!
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