Parenting the Broken



His warm little head rests on my chest as he breathes a sigh of relief. After a deep struggle with anger, he leans into the rhythm of my heart, his body is turned in towards me...legs wrapped around my sides. hold him in close. As I write these words I'm in tears trying to make sense of this brokenness. The thing is, I didn't want to hold him, I didn't want to rock him, I didn't want to be in the same room with him. BUT I knew it was the very thing he needed to help set him free from the scary emotions that held him captive.  

 Our little four year old adopted son comes from a brokenness that I will never be able to heal or fully understand. THIS task is in the Lords hands. HE has simply chosen me to be this little one's mom. A privilege I often feel like I'm failing at. However, I'm reminded of the verses in Psalms 136. For the sake of sealing it in my own heart; I will type some the verses for you:
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endured forever. Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His loves endures forever. To Him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever. Who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever. Who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever. Who made the great lights - His love endures forever. The sun to govern the day, His love endures forever...Psalms 136:1-8

These verses have often put me in my place and given me freedom as a mom. Did you catch the repeated phrase? "His love endures forever?" As a mom (making frequent mistakes because we're human), these words bring such encouragement. I will do my best to run this motherhood race for Christ (even with mistakes) because His love WILL endure through it. His power WILL continue the work. His plan WILL prevail despite my mistakes.  


I cannot always anticipate what will cause our little guy to melt to pieces. On this particular day, I showed up late to preschool pickup and it sent his emotions on a rough deep sea diving adventure to say the least. The hardest part in handling these emotions; is not being pulled in myself. By the time his storm settles (and hes ready to be held), I often don't want to do the holding. The things that need to be done are often the hardest to do, am I right?!! So, I held him...even though I didn't want to. Its the time I need to give even though I don't want to give it. Its the security of my arms that provides the internal regulation that he craves. That's Christ's love right there. That's the Lord's love enduring through this brokenness.  

                                                                                 
 Photo Credit: Auntie Cinda

Its interesting how some of the most painful events in my life spur on a need and desire to write. To share the pain. I know this pain I'm feeling isn't felt alone. There are other parents loving from broken places. With tear stained faces like mine. May you know Christ understands your child's brokenness (and yours) and may you rest in the fact that He can bring the healing that you can't because His love endures forever and there is no failure in that. 

Comments

  1. Jen LoveJune 2, 2018 at 4:02 PM

    What beautiful love to continue to give when you don't feel like it. I watched several friends go through similar situations with foster children (and with those children there were very few ways to "correct" them also). He is one blessed boy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dorothy Beth, M.Ed. June 4, 2018 at 11:25 AM

      Oh thank you for your kind words Jen! Its always hard to finally hit that "post" button because its my heart I'm holding out there for others to see.

      Delete
  2. ELJune 15, 2018 at 7:31 AM

    Beautiful in it's honesty. At times I do not want to hug or love on my kids after tantrums and such and yet I find it's when they need it the most . Surprisingly we all feel much better after a hugging/holding session but getting to that point is a struggle ,one I can't do without HIS help and love .🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dorothy Beth, M.Ed. October 18, 2018 at 12:11 PM

      Yes El! I'm so glad it was encouraging to you. I often go back and read what I've written to help me refocus when times are difficult. Writing is so therapeutic in the process and many months later.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Lord's Plan For A Stay At Home Mom

Image
This week I was hit with jealousy. The kind of jealousy that causes a domino effect in your thoughts and how you act. I was jealous because I saw someone else experiencing great success in their career.  I'm usually not the jealous type but the Lord is using this situation to fully show His path for me is perfect. You see, the person I was struggling in jealousy over was my husband.  Can you believe that? Don't get me wrong, I'm also very proud of what he has accomplished and how hard he works for our family. That's why I was shocked and confused when these emotions started servicing. So, I began to reflect on this source of jealousy and ultimately my choice to be discontent. As I reflect on where the Lord currently has me; it causes me to think about where I have been. So take a little journey with me... Many, many years ago I started my college career as a Psychology major. I liked the idea of helping others and counseling those in need. Well, after 1 year I
Read more

Through Your Child's Eyes

Image
There are long days (really if we're honest there are long weeks, months and sometimes even years). Days when I barely have time to sit and hold the Little's. Days when I don't want to hold the Little's. Moments when I don't feel like being a mom (just a little honesty here). Then there are days I don't make the best choices in guiding my children. You know? Its those days when you use harsh words, yell and end up hiding in the bathroom. Yup...those kind of days. At the end of these days I feel like a failure as a mom. Ultimately this feeling is  a choice I'm making; to feel that I'm a failure. I need to choose to move past it. Here is one way I do just that: I view myself through the eyes of my children. Right now I don't have teenagers so this method could change. Until then, this is what I practice. If I view myself through the eyes of my children, what would I see? I think they would see a beautiful lady that holds them in the morning and
Read more

DIY Outdoor Play Kitchen

Image
While making play dough as a kid, I remember my mom having us put all the ingredients together and then she would cook it over the stove top. I can still recall that unique smell and the way the play dough felt so warm on your hands when you pulled it out of the pot. Then watching the food coloring move through the dough as I kneaded it was like magic. There is something about the smells and textures within a sensory activity that engrains the experience in your memory. I want my own children to have similar memories that stay with them through adulthood. This brings me to one reason why I created an outdoor play kitchen for our kids two years ago. I want my children to have memories of playing and exploration as researchers, testers, builders, risk players, explorers, adventurers, creative thinkers, and curious scientists. I love bringing the kids outdoors (or really its "kicking" them outdoors because they're running around like mad in the house). So, I wanted to
Read more