Parenting the Broken



His warm little head rests on my chest as he breathes a sigh of relief. After a deep struggle with anger, he leans into the rhythm of my heart, his body is turned in towards me...legs wrapped around my sides. hold him in close. As I write these words I'm in tears trying to make sense of this brokenness. The thing is, I didn't want to hold him, I didn't want to rock him, I didn't want to be in the same room with him. BUT I knew it was the very thing he needed to help set him free from the scary emotions that held him captive.  

 Our little four year old adopted son comes from a brokenness that I will never be able to heal or fully understand. THIS task is in the Lords hands. HE has simply chosen me to be this little one's mom. A privilege I often feel like I'm failing at. However, I'm reminded of the verses in Psalms 136. For the sake of sealing it in my own heart; I will type some the verses for you:
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endured forever. Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His loves endures forever. To Him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever. Who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever. Who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever. Who made the great lights - His love endures forever. The sun to govern the day, His love endures forever...Psalms 136:1-8

These verses have often put me in my place and given me freedom as a mom. Did you catch the repeated phrase? "His love endures forever?" As a mom (making frequent mistakes because we're human), these words bring such encouragement. I will do my best to run this motherhood race for Christ (even with mistakes) because His love WILL endure through it. His power WILL continue the work. His plan WILL prevail despite my mistakes.  


I cannot always anticipate what will cause our little guy to melt to pieces. On this particular day, I showed up late to preschool pickup and it sent his emotions on a rough deep sea diving adventure to say the least. The hardest part in handling these emotions; is not being pulled in myself. By the time his storm settles (and hes ready to be held), I often don't want to do the holding. The things that need to be done are often the hardest to do, am I right?!! So, I held him...even though I didn't want to. Its the time I need to give even though I don't want to give it. Its the security of my arms that provides the internal regulation that he craves. That's Christ's love right there. That's the Lord's love enduring through this brokenness.  

                                                                                 
 Photo Credit: Auntie Cinda

Its interesting how some of the most painful events in my life spur on a need and desire to write. To share the pain. I know this pain I'm feeling isn't felt alone. There are other parents loving from broken places. With tear stained faces like mine. May you know Christ understands your child's brokenness (and yours) and may you rest in the fact that He can bring the healing that you can't because His love endures forever and there is no failure in that. 

Comments

  1. Jen LoveJune 2, 2018 at 4:02 PM

    What beautiful love to continue to give when you don't feel like it. I watched several friends go through similar situations with foster children (and with those children there were very few ways to "correct" them also). He is one blessed boy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dorothy Beth, M.Ed. June 4, 2018 at 11:25 AM

      Oh thank you for your kind words Jen! Its always hard to finally hit that "post" button because its my heart I'm holding out there for others to see.

      Delete
  2. ELJune 15, 2018 at 7:31 AM

    Beautiful in it's honesty. At times I do not want to hug or love on my kids after tantrums and such and yet I find it's when they need it the most . Surprisingly we all feel much better after a hugging/holding session but getting to that point is a struggle ,one I can't do without HIS help and love .🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dorothy Beth, M.Ed. October 18, 2018 at 12:11 PM

      Yes El! I'm so glad it was encouraging to you. I often go back and read what I've written to help me refocus when times are difficult. Writing is so therapeutic in the process and many months later.

      Delete

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