Foster Family Household Tips
As an early childhood teacher, I had anywhere from 4-12 kids under my primary care in the classroom. The days were often long and I was so grateful for great team teachers during parts of my journey as an educator. From my years of experience in the classroom, I thought I wanted a small family...like a couple of children...maybe three. Here we are years later and we have four children of our own. In addition, our family recently stepped into the unknown of fostering again and welcomed three more Loves into our home. Our family was rolling 7 kids deep for 6 months!!! AND, the first night they were with us, I jumped on Amazon and ordered my first automatic 12 cup coffee maker. Gone were the days of slow brew French press coffee while coordinating this household of nine! The coffee was the first step in rearranging and organizing what was once "normal" in our home. I learned a few tricks while organizing a household of littles ages 2-11 years old. Come along with me as I share different ways we managed our very large BUT sweet crew of kids.
Morning Routines
During the week, there were 4 kids to move out the door for school. So, the day moved a lot smoother when I simply had the kids that stayed home get ready for the day as well. That meant, no lingering in pajamas...even for my homeschoolers. I've always felt this encouraged productivity from the very beginning of our day. To reduce even more battles, I give the kids freedom to choose what they wear. Unless it was shorts in 30 degree weather...I let them choose. Lastly, breakfast is only served when EVERYONE is dressed and lunches are packed. Feeding everyone at the same time afforded me the opportunity to have everyone at the breakfast counter at the same, making a mess at the same time and cleaning it all up at the same time. See my post on Morning Routines for more details on our lunch packing routine.
Paperwork and School Items
One thing I quickly needed was a space to put all the school papers and Resource Family (RF) documents. FYI: counties are moving away from the term "foster family" to "resource family." So I ordered sturdy magnetic clips for the refrigerator (when this photo was taken, the magnets were not purchased yet). This freed up LOTS of "real estate" space from the counters and each magnet can hold stacks of paper!!! The labeled areas included a space for each child in school, one for my husband and I, RF documentation and emergency info. As soon as RF paperwork starts pouring in, I create a folder for each child. Some counties or agencies will provide you with a folder or binder to organize all the paperwork (Dr. visits, medical history, visiting records, court dates, etc.). It was three months into our current placement before receiving binders to help organize all the things. So, from the beginning, create your own system of organizing and writing notes down. This will save you heaps of time when you're looking for things like that specific name and phone number!
Boundaries and Rules
Food and Such
Kids thrive off of schedules and routines. When given predictability, these sweeties had decreased behavior issues and engaged in activities longer. I posted a daily routine/tasks that included a time frame and location. This schedule was posted on the refrigerated for all the kids to see. At one point, one of our foster loves asked, "are we going to have a schedule like this all the time? Cause I really like it." The schedule included LOTS of outside time, reading and playing games from the game closet. We also had a handful of household rules. Many of the rules revolved around bedrooms, teamwork and food (see Food and Such). In the bedrooms: clothing was to be picked up daily, bedroom doors stayed opened and girls and boys were not allowed to play in each others rooms. This helped eliminate so many sibling battles and personal space issues. We also implemented an award system called the "penny challenge" in order to encourage completed tasks. At the beginning of two weeks, each child started with two dollars in pennies. For each incomplete task (light left on, clothes or shoes on the floor, etc.), one penny would be taken. At the end of two weeks, they could keep the pennies that were left.
Food and Such
Food is so important for our littlest ones, so I was sure to include our meal and snack times on our posted schedule. To encourage meal consumption, snacks were small and at least 2 hours before a meal. We actually, accomplished dinner together almost every night while our sweet loves were with us. We truly treasured that time and wanted everyone to feel important. So, each person was allowed "a share" around the dinner table about their day. We took turns and guided the children in respecting the one person talking. To also encourage respect at dinner, no one was to start eating until everyone was sitting down and ready to pray. Being that the youngest was three, all the children were capable of waiting until the entire family was ready to eat. This also helps eliminate kids being ready for more food right when the adults sit down. Waiting. Its a lost art on kids these days. In addition, eating always happened at the table or in the kitchen to help contain the mess and simplify cleanup. Lastly, each child had an assigned colored cup. We washed them nightly and this simplified dolling out cups at meal time. Side note: we also do assigned seating. Every child in the same seat for every meal or snack.
Getting Help
There are a few ways to gather up help around the house: First, always ask those in the household to help. To avoid cleanup overall, we accomplished the task in parts throughout the entire day/week. If an activity finished; we clean it...a meal is finished we clear the dishes and wipe the counter. See this link for more tips on cleaning with kids: Kids and Cleaning Its a team effort. Another way to enlist help is to pay someone. This is a perfect way to help someone else by financially supporting them in their cleaning business. While we were fostering and had 7 kids, a cleaning lady came every week and helped. It was SO worth the investment. I love our cleaning lady. Next, take the help when it is offered...let people babysit, run errands for you and don't feel guilty about it. Lastly, step up and just ask others for help (this one is the hardest for me). Most people genuinely enjoy feeling needed. Let them fill that role for you.
Making Time For Fun
Protected Space
All children need a protected space for their belongings and creations...especially children in the foster system. With so much already being taken from them; personal space is a treasure you can gift them. You can go above and beyond just providing their own bed. In our home, each child had a container or shelf for their toys, a bag of art supplies, a visiting backpack for weekly birth parent visits, bath towel and two dresser drawers for clothing (side note: all of our kids shared dresser space. 7 dressers for 7 kids wasn't practical in our space). For more on toys see: Toy Rotation
Organization
With 9 people living in one house, I needed organization. When something is bothering me about the "state" of my home; I immediately think of ways to solve the issue. For example, 9 plus pairs of shoes scatter through our laundry room was a trigger for me. So, I purchased a simple shelving unit from Walmart with baskets for shoes, coats, etc. Another trigger was constant bath towels on the floor or being used only once and thrown in the laundry bin. SO, using our preexisting towel rack, I simply added more hooks to accommodate our growing clan. When the things in our home start to bother me, I donate those items to someone or an organization in need. I always keep a bag in the hall closet that is fill with items our household no longer needs. Once that bag is full; its off to donation. It becomes one less load of things to take care of, put away, organize, etc. Not only do we need to organize our things but we need to organize our time as well. For me, that meant less time on social media AND getting up earlier. This gave me more time with the Littles as well as the ability to keep up with house hold tasks. So, I would rise at 5:30am just to squeeze in some time in the Bible and a little workout. Doing this helped the morning/day move a lot smoother.
My Last Thoughts For You
Side note: My younger sister has 7 kids and she's really awesome at it. I've had a good example to look up to. I love you Bekah!
Sharing The Joys Of Childhood To Inspire The Fun In parenting
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