Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

Poem By Dorothy To My Love

We are going to celebrate 14 years of marriage very soon! I thought it fitting to reflect on the ups and downs of marriage with kids. Cause guys, this is sometimes (or a lot) a kick you in the butt kind of workout (even if you don't have kids). This is a topic I'm choosing to write on because it's currently real and raw and emotional in my life!

Before we were married we attended pre-marital counseling. If I remember anything from that it was "love is spelled T-I-M-E. That's right, time. You show love with time. This has been a reoccurring theme in our marriage. If we lack time together, the misunderstanding, harsh words and fighting increase. It usually always goes back to time. Now when I say time that doesn't include watching tv together, sitting next to each other during dinner as you dole out more food to your kids or entertaining your kids together. Although some of these are great time spenders...it's not the time I'm talking about.

The time I'm talking about is the face to face time..."we are just here for each other and no one else kind of time."  Finding that time together is so very hard in this crazy busy and then if you add kids (no matter how many you have) in the mix, it often seems impossible. It may seem impossible but its so very necessary. Finding that time will look different for everyone but here are just some ideas we have tried and are currently working on.

1. For over 5 plus years we date swapped with another couple. It worked really well and then that wonderful family moved 6 hours away!!! So, go search for that couple in the same boat as you...they're out there!

2. Feed the kids and put them to bed early and then order take out!

3. Every Sunday (at least we try our best) after dinner the kids each go to their rooms and play on their own...no entertainment from mom and dad. Our kids share rooms so this is a perfect chance for them to learn "its fun playing with your siblings." The littles will of course try to leave the room, so that's where baby gates come in really handy. We set a timer for 20 minutes (sometimes more) and mommy and daddy get couple time!

4. Prayer and Bible time together. Its amazing what you can learn from and about one another when you seek out these intimate details about their walk with the Lord. This is probably the most valuable but often (for us) ends up being the hardest to commit to.

This "time thing", its still a work in progress for us. Days and weeks go by and we have to "reset" our priorities and make sure we place each other on that list. Unfortunately a lot of times that reset is triggered by a fight. Making the time...scheduling the time, its so very hard because the "pulls" in every direction are great. Where are you being pulled today? Make sure you are being pulled into the arms of the one you love. We need to be in prayer about how to look at what the Lord has already given us. The poem above was written by me over 13 years ago to my husband and it still resonates with me today.  This "time" is a gift; lets use it wisely.

Ephesians 5:15-17 "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time..."